This week on "Guy Code," the fellas are talking about a subject that many of us over 21 have a love-hate relationship with: liquor.
Getting outrageously drunk never ends well -- between vomming up last night's dinner on someone else's shoes and waking up with a pounding headache -- but even if you're careful enough to ~drink responsibly~, you can't control what your friends do. Here's what happens when your BFF gets a little too sloppy:
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You ask your friend if they're OK
You already know the answer, but you ask anyway just to be polite.
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They insist that they're sober
If someone repeatedly tells you how sober they are, they probably aren't sober.
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They make their way to the bar to get another
You try to block their path or take their cup away. You say something along the lines of, "No, I think that's enough for now, let's wait a little bit." They respond by telling you how sober they are (again).
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They suddenly stumble and fall on the floor
This is why you don't wear heels to frat parties.
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They start laughing hysterically because falling on the floor is sooo funny right now
You are not laughing with them.
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You help them up ... it doesn't stick
They spill what's left of their drink on you in the process. You are such a good person.
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They start to look suspiciously pale
Oh boy, here it comes...
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*vomit everywhere*
You wonder what you did to deserve this cruelty.
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You take them to the bathroom, where they proceed to throw up for 10 minutes
You hold their hair back because, again, you're a good person.
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They start drunk-dialing their ex from next to the toilet
You take away their phone, they drunkenly yell at you for taking away their phone, it's all good.
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You force them to drink water
"You can get your phone back when you finish this cup."
*they take two sips, look up at you expectedly*
"No, the whole cup."
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They make sexy eyes at three different people as you pull them through the crowded party
It's a miracle when you finally get them out the door.
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They are now crying profusely about their ex
You can't make out what they're mumbling about through all the tears.
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You desperately try to hail a cab
Obviously all the cabs are taken and why is the world being so mean to you right now OMG you just wanna go home.
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You get your friend home and tuck them into bed
They peacefully drift off to sleep without a care in the world.
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You reward yourself by ordering the greasiest food from whatever's open right now
Go ahead. You deserve it.
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You wake up the next morning to a text from your friend: "What happened last night?"
And you're happy to fill them in on all the deets, because you know they'd do exactly the same for you.
