This week on "Guy Code," the fellas are talking about a subject that many of us over 21 have a love-hate relationship with: liquor.
Getting outrageously drunk never ends well -- between vomming up last night's dinner on someone else's shoes and waking up with a pounding headache -- but even if you're careful enough to ~drink responsibly~, you can't control what your friends do. Here's what happens when your BFF gets a little too sloppy:
You ask your friend if they're OK
You already know the answer, but you ask anyway just to be polite.
They insist that they're sober
If someone repeatedly tells you how sober they are, they probably aren't sober.
They make their way to the bar to get another
You try to block their path or take their cup away. You say something along the lines of, "No, I think that's enough for now, let's wait a little bit." They respond by telling you how sober they are (again).
They suddenly stumble and fall on the floor
This is why you don't wear heels to frat parties.
They start laughing hysterically because falling on the floor is sooo funny right now
You are not laughing with them.
You help them up ... it doesn't stick
They spill what's left of their drink on you in the process. You are such a good person.
They start to look suspiciously pale
Oh boy, here it comes...
You wonder what you did to deserve this cruelty.
You take them to the bathroom, where they proceed to throw up for 10 minutes
You hold their hair back because, again, you're a good person.
They start drunk-dialing their ex from next to the toilet
You take away their phone, they drunkenly yell at you for taking away their phone, it's all good.
You force them to drink water
"You can get your phone back when you finish this cup."
*they take two sips, look up at you expectedly*
"No, the whole cup."
They make sexy eyes at three different people as you pull them through the crowded party
It's a miracle when you finally get them out the door.
They are now crying profusely about their ex
You can't make out what they're mumbling about through all the tears.
You desperately try to hail a cab
Obviously all the cabs are taken and why is the world being so mean to you right now OMG you just wanna go home.
You get your friend home and tuck them into bed
They peacefully drift off to sleep without a care in the world.
You reward yourself by ordering the greasiest food from whatever's open right now
Go ahead. You deserve it.
You wake up the next morning to a text from your friend: "What happened last night?"
And you're happy to fill them in on all the deets, because you know they'd do exactly the same for you.