Girls, falling for a friend can seem like a great way to build a relationship. However, if you're not careful, disaster is imminent.
Friends hooking up happens and there’s nothing wrong with it, but it’s important to know that familiarity plus sex does not always equal love. A range of outcomes can occur, some more difficult than others. Ask yourself if you’re really ready for them. And make sure to talk to your friend about it first. It will help you avoid the weirder of the following scenarios.
Neither of you speak of it again
Regardless of whether you want a relationship after the fact, pretending it never happened can feel confusing and hurtful. Discretion is one thing, radio silence is another. Before doing anything, look at the level of friendship you have and whether you'd be comfortable asserting it with him after the fact. If you're not cool bringing it up to begin with, don't do it.
You get paranoid about appearing clingy
The difficult part about friends with benefits is that you're in the same social circle and will run into each other. That might make you feel like a creeper. Guy friends can often be hypersensitive to you getting attached at all, and misinterpret you popping up as something to do with more than just being friends. Even if he's understanding and doesn't think you're clingy, having to over-think hanging out can be stressful.
Negotiating Friends With Benefits from "Guy Code"
You possibly lose the chance to date someone else
Not all dudes are willing to be eskimo brothers, so pick your friendly hook-ups wisely. Even if you're not looking for something serious, try to think of the big picture. Dating within your friend group can limit your options. Some guys don't like same dating girls as their friends.
You continue to hook up, but very rarely
If you're both being honest about not wanting a relationship, rarely hooking up is your safest bet. Every time you have sex it releases oxytocin into the brain, a hormone that will make you feel attached regardless of what agreement you make initially. Hooking up all the time will only increase this feel-good flood, and the probability of having more feelings than you planned.
You continue to hook up regularly without exclusivity
This is the most dangerous options. Managing an open relationship on top of a friendship is a good way to be a bad friend. Even worse, it's easy to get stuck in this holding pattern where one person almost always develops feelings while the other person falls for someone else. It's nearly impossible to be friends after that, no matter which side you're on.
You suddenly find yourself in a relationship
When hooking up with your friends works out it's rare and special, but don't assume it's without its challenges. Being aware of the fact that you're starting at a greater level of intimacy is crucial, or else it can be too much too fast.
You lose a friend
If you both don’t communicate honestly from the beginning, you’re likely to lose a friend. And at that point, is it really worth doing it at all? Friendships and sexual relationships are both challenging on their own, so it’s best not to combine without careful consideration. In a weird way, that’s what being a good friend is about.