Tonight (January 14), "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" makes its triumphant return to FXX for its tenth -- yep, tenth -- season. So for the next 10 weeks, you'll have 10 new "Sunny" schemes concocted by the insecure and closeted Mac (Rob McElhenney), the narcissistic Dennis (Glenn Howerton), the despicable Frank (Danny DeVito), the raging alcoholic Dee (Kaitlin Olson), and the donkey-brained Charlie (Charlie Day) to enjoy... even if those truly affected by those schemes sadly cannot say the same. (We're looking at you, Cricket.)
However, we at MTV News feel that Charlie is not necessarily as donkey-brained as the rest of the gang thinks. Yes, he cannot read, and yes, he's only left Philadelphia a handful of times, but that doesn't mean that Charlie doesn't have his moments of absolute brilliance.
Let's explore the nine most genius Charlie moments below, shall we?
When he knew the best way to get a cat out of the wall.
In the episode "Mac and Dennis Break Up," Charlie had a really great thing going when it came to getting Dee's cat out of the wall. When treats and catnip don't work, the best way to get a cat out of the wall is by grabbing another cat, something that Dee would have learned if she had been patient enough to wait it out instead of creating a giant hole in the wall.
When he actually became a genius.
True, the pill Charlie took in "Flowers for Charlie" didn't make him any smarter -- just more confident, which revealed that Charlie truly had what it took all along. The fact that he invented a mechanism for spiders and cats to communicate without pharmaceutical help says all you need to know about Mr. Kelly.
When he mastered the art of killing rats.
The other thing we learned in "Flowers for Charlie" was that the rest of the gang is literally incapable of killing a single rat -- unlike Charlie, who created a foolproof method for bashing the little guys years before the events of that episode.
When he figured out a non-pharmaceutical way to cure his insomnia.
How many insomniacs out there have been looking for years for a non-pharmaceutical cure for their sleep deprivation? [Raises hand reluctantly.]
Well, search no more, because Charlie found the cure for insomnia in "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass": "There's some sort of weird chemical reaction that happens when you combine catfood, beer and glue. It makes you feel like, extremely sick and tired and you're able to fall asleep."
BRB, trying that tonight.
When he owned at dominoes.
Dominoes is a tough game to master -- unless you're Charlie Kelly. Biatch.
When he manipulated everyone into having sex with moms.
Okay, okay, so this ended in emotional devastation for Charlie, but the long-con idea was solid.
Charlie convinced Mac to bang Dennis's mom in the episode "Mac Bangs Dennis's Mom" both to get revenge on Dennis, and to prevent Dennis from sleeping with the Waitress. (He took Dennis out to watch Mac leaving the Reynolds house, thus creating a rage that distracted him from banging Waitress.) His next step was to convince Dennis to sleep with Mac's mom and have the Waitress find out so she would be disgusted by Dennis and run to Charlie's arms, but instead the Waitress embraced her own depravity and slept with Frank.
Sorry, Charlie -- your manipulative genius was solid, you just underestimated Waitress' burning love for Dennis.
When he survived an abortion.
Even fetus Charlie was a genius -- in "The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby," it was revealed that embryo Charlie managed to find a way to survive his own abortion.
When he uncovered a company conspiracy.
When Charlie and Mac got a new job for health insurance purposes in "Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack," Charlie uncovered a company-wide conspiracy spearheaded by none other than the elusive Pepe Silvia... and maybe Carol from HR? Carol's involvement was never fully determined, but either way, Charlie (and Barney, of course) deserve all the props in the world for seeing what no one else could -- the company was being bled like a stuck pig!
When he wrote an entire musical by himself.
There are far less impressive ways to impress a potential bae than writing an emotionally resonant musical about a young boy's journey to manhood. "The Nightman Cometh" was a triumph -- performed in several cities by the "Sunny" gang on a national tour in real life -- and it was written entirely by Charlie Kelly himself, who is a natural on the piano. If "Troll Toll" can't be used as an indicator for musical genius, than we're not sure what can. He's a regular damn Sondheim.