Do you frequently fantasize about what you would do to certain cartoon characters if only they were real? Have you recently thought, “Damn, look at the boobs on that statue?”
If the answer is "yes" to these or any similar questions, then you, sir, may be trapped in the desert of despair that is a dry spell. On Wednesday's all-new episode of "Guy Code," which airs at 11:30/10:30c on MTV2, the cast is talking about this very subject.
If you are in a dry spell, fear not. Being in the midst of a woman-less winter feels like a frustrating, endless hell, but here are five ways to find a sweet oasis of female affection this week. (Yes. This one. That we’re in right now.)
Sign up for an online dating site -- c'mon, you knew this already!
If you haven’t done so, this should be your first stop. Maybe you got out of a long-term relationship and haven't needed a profile until now, but one of the advantages of online dating is that all of the girls on there are, well, looking to date.
Set your introduction apart from the plethora of "’Sup?"s she’s being inundated with, by asking her about one of the interests in her profile. And don't be vague with "maybe we should go somewhere sometime or something?" Ask her out to a specific place to do a specific activity.
Ask your platonic girlfriends if they have any single friends
Girls love playing matchmaker, and they definitely love helping the guys in their lives improve themselves, so chances are, she’s been compiling a list of possible ladies for you for awhile now. Asking her outright will give her the green light to set her plans in motion.
If she’s been your friend for a long time, she’s likely already done some groundwork for you by telling her gal pals what a good guy you are anyway. Don't prove her wrong.
Maybe your platonic girlfriends will reconsider the "platonic" thing
You’ll have to use your best judgment on this one, because crossing the line with one of your friends can lead to nothing but hot steamy awkwardness if it goes wrong. If, however, you know that she’s going through a dry spell too, it may be worth a shot. If she’s constantly talking with you about her own involuntary celibacy, perhaps she has a similar idea in mind?
Reexamine your standards
There may be a girl in your life who'd be awesome to date ... whom you've been discounting because she’s “not my type” or you “don’t see her like that.” Let go of what you think your type is, and ask out a girl in your life who has shown you interest! That quiet bookish type in your bio class may surprise you with her encyclopedic understanding of the male anatomy.
Call an ex, if you're not on toxic terms
Exes should generally remain exes for a reason, but if there are any ladies in your backlog whom you can spend the night with -- without the risk of your apartment getting burned down or having a drink thrown in your face -- perhaps the it’s time to celebrate Throwback Thursday in style.
If you two catch feelings and start dating again, which can easily happen, just know it'll probably end the same way. Still, getting a little action, even from an old flame, could boost your confidence and put you in the right mindset to stay out of Dry Spellsville for good.
Watch new episodes of "Guy Code" Wednesdays at 11:30/10:30c on MTV2