Transitioning a night toward romance can seem so difficult. When I was younger, I thought it required all sorts of cheesy, dumb tricks that I'd learned from TV and films. And though they may look good on the big screen, they're usually a waste of time and effort in the real world.
Since "Guy Code" is delving into setting the mood Wednesday at 11:30/10:30c on MTV2, here are some techniques that may only work for fictional characters.
An overabundance of candles
For the most part, we only use them when our freakin' power goes out, but candles -- for whatever reason -- are believed to signify that romance is in the air. Lighting a bunch of them is a pain in the ass, and can make your apartment look like a Catholic church during Mass. Plus, if they actually do set the mood, there's a good chance you'll pass out in bed with countless tiny fires burning throughout your home. Not smart.
Aphrodisiacs are foods that are supposed to increase sexual desire: Oysters, watermelon, chocolate ... there's dozens, they say. But do these foods actually work? "[Y]ou always have to factor in a large placebo effect," explains a spokesperson for Indiana University's Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. And to get the supposed aphrodisiac in watermelon, you'd have to eat the rind.
So stop trying to get your date to munch on something so they'll munch on you. Think about it: If aphrodisiacs truly worked, wouldn't oyster shacks be some of the most romantic places on earth ... instead of stinky spots full of bearded dudes "shucking"?
A sexy playlist (that's too obviously meant to be "sexy")
Music is, of course, crucial to all aspects of our lives, including romance. Still, fretting about the exact music to play in the bedroom is downright silly. And putting together a carefully curated sex playlist is downright pathetic. Actually, if your date notices the "Let's Get It On" Spotify playlist you carefully put together earlier in the day, it'll probably ruin the mood.
In theory, a bubble bath sounds spectacular. Who doesn't like a bubble bath? Soft bubbles caressing you and your partner's naked bodies. Cool!
Unfortunately, most bathtubs are too tiny for two people; bubbles never get quite as bubbly as they do in movies; and getting out of the tub without making a mess is nigh impossible. Here's a thought: If your date is willing to take a bubble bath with you, then THE MOOD IS ALREADY SET.
Rose petals in bed
Picking up a dozen roses before a date is never a bad idea. What is a bad idea? Plucking every single one and scattering them across the bed. No one wants to feel like they're having sex in a greenhouse, and by morning you'll be plucking those petals again ... out of your ass.
Watch new episodes of "Guy Code" Wednesdays at 11:30/10:30c on MTV2