We're all rational people here. We feed ourselves. Dress ourselves. Manage to navigate ourselves down sidewalks without face-planting. So what is it about Blue Ivy Carter that turns us all into blathering, drooling idiots whose neurological processes have slowed to such a point that the only thought we can hold in our minds at once is: "DA BABY!"?

Oh, wait, look at this photo of Blue at her birthday party eating rainbow cake.

DA BABY!

Maybe it's the fact that she's not smeared in food, like the spawn of one's Facebook friends often are. Maybe it's all the bows on her pristine pink dress. Maybe it's the fact that she's holding her fork like a damn little lady, instead of a toddler. Who knows? All we know is that this GIF...

... made otherwise rational people react thusly:

Seriously. I am a lady who is terrified of babies and after watching Blue Ivy dominate the VMAs I found myself face-planted on my keyboard in a hormonal haze, speaking (more) gibberish (than usual).

So, Ivy that is Blue, Happy Belated to you! May you continue to melt hearts (and reproductive organs) into 2015 and beyond!