From 2000 to 2006, the world was blessed with a sitcom that finally exposed just how truly terrible boys really are. This sitcom was "Malcolm in the Middle," which turns fif-freaking-teen years old on Friday, January 9.
To honor this momentous occasion, we decided to track the whereabouts of the show's stars -- most of whom, minus that one guy, have largely been away from the public eye since the mid-2000s. So without further ado, here's what the "Malcolm and the Middle" cast is up to in 2015:
Frankie Muniz, "Malcolm"
The boy genius himself has acted sporadically since the show's cancelation. In 2012 he appeared in an episode of ABC's "Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23" as himself, then starred in a Syfy movie called "Blast Vegas" the following year. In 2015, he'll appear in "Hot Bath an' a Stiff Drink 2" opposite Robert Patrick, and star in "Road to Capri" with Virginia Madsen and Alfred Molina.
Outside of acting, Muniz is engaged to Elycia Marie Turnbow, pictured above. He also took up competitive race car driving, played in a band called Kingsfoil, and suffered from some scary health setbacks in 2012 and 2013, tweeting that he had "experienced another mini stroke" and was "miserable."
Justin Berfield, "Reese"
Berfield, former King of the Frosted Tips, hasn't kept busy on the acting front, instead choosing to pursue a life behind the lens. He started a company called Virgin Produced -- the film, TV, and entertainment branch of Richard Branson's Virgin Group -- in 2010. Its credits include the Zac Efron-starrer "That Awkward Moment" and Bradley Cooper's "Limitless."
Chris Masterson, "Francis"
Masterson continues to act sporadically -- he appeared on "Haven" in 2014 -- but he mostly moonlights as DJ Chris Kennedy these days, and posts a lot of stuff on Vine. His sister Alanna, however, plays Tara on "The Walking Dead."
Erik per Sullivan, "Dewey"
Little Dewey's last acting credit was from 2010 -- a movie called "Twelve" that stars Chace Crawford. He also attended the University of Southern California, but for being a millennial, he's alarmingly difficult to find on social media (which is probably why, when you google him, the first thing that pops up is "Erik Per Sullivan dead"). There is a Twitter page attributed to his name, but it has not been verified.
Craig Lamar Traylor, "Stevie"
Per his Twitter biography, the wheelchair-bound, perpetually short-of-breath Stevie is now an actor, writer, and "aspiring tattoo artist." His last acting credit was for the 2012 Billy Dee Williams film "This Bitter Earth," and he'll follow up in 2016 with a role in the Louie Anderson Western "Forgiven This Gun4hire."
Jane Kaczmarek, "Lois"
Kaczmarek, the Emmy-winning matriarch of "Malcolm," has acted consistently since the show's demise. She played Judge Trudy Kessler on TNT's "Raising the Bar" and had guest stints on shows like "The Comeback" and "The Middle," but her most recent effort, the "Gavin & Stacey" remake "Us & Them," was unceremoniously pulled by Fox before its scheduled 2014 air date. Life truly is unfair.
Bryan Cranston, "Hal"
Unknown. Literally no one has seen this man since "Malcolm in the Middle" ended in 2006. If you or anyone you know has any information about the whereabouts of Bryan Cranston, please contact actor Aaron Paul.