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Which Hogwarts Houses Do Taylor Swift, Lorde, Sam Smith & More Belong In?

We sort it out. (Get it?)

What house would Taylor Swift have been sorted into if she were in the "Harry Potter" universe? That is a query that haunts me every single day. (Not really. I have a rich and full life with my cat.) I mean, Charli XCX recently came out as a Slytherin, but what about Lorde? Ed Sheeran? Sam Smith? In what house would our various and sundry favorite pop luminaries land?

We took a crack at playing Sorting Hat below. Weigh in in the comments below if you disagree with our decrees.

  1. Taylor Swift... Gryffindor!

    Swift is brave, true and loves cats. Gryffindors are also those things -- and their mascot is a lion, which is a kind of cat. You do the math.

  2. Ed Sheeran... Gryffindor!

    We're not just saying this because Sheeran could have easily been cast as Ron Weasley. OK, yeah... we sorta are.

  3. Lorde... Ravenclaw!

    Ravenclaws are all about the smarts -- with just a hint of darkness. Sound like a certain wise-beyond-her-years, Goth-tinged teen you know?

  4. Kanye West... Ravenclaw!

    I can see Kanye and Lorde totally hanging in Ravenclaw Tower, workin' on tunes and scheming ways to try to take over the music world. I can also see this happening in real life -- minus the tower -- and hope very much that this is made manifest.

  5. Sam Smith... Hufflepuff!

    I mean... right?

  6. Katy Perry... Hufflepuff!

    She does love cupcakes and baked goods of all kinds.

  7. Charli XCX... Slytherin!

    She said it, not us -- but Charli totally seems to have a dark side to that candy-coated punk rock heart of hers. Also she's British, and villains should always have an accent.

  8. Nicki Minaj... Slytherin!

    Slytherin... "Anaconda"... Need we say more?