Some artists asks for the simple things on their tour rider. Like, Selena Gomez just wants pickles, incense and ramen. Or Drake, who reportedly demands an Andis T-Outliner trimmer to keep his cut tight, 4-dozen natural-scented incense sticks, Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap and a pack of Dutch Master President cigars.

And then there's 5 Seconds of Summer. When you're new to the game, you have got to go big... or you'll go home with a duffel packed with the same stinky pair of socks you've worn for 9 months and a bunch of stale granola bars. And 5SOS clearly got that message, because in the (100% fake) tour riders they posted on Friday (December 19), the boys seriously went for broke.

Ashton's List:

Since he asked for "apple's," we're gonna say requesting an "education" is a good call. And who doesn't need sweat bands, booty shorts and a Bubba Sparxxx CD, amirite?

Calum's list:

Ever humble, Calum just wants new bandmates, assorted nuts and "a hug." Awww.

Michael's list:

Okay, Michael is the opposite of Calum, since he asked for Luke, along with grapes, a dictionary and, why not? Taylor Swift. Go big, Mike, go big.

Luke's list:

This is more like it. Body oil, toothbrushes, socks, oh and talent. Nice touch with the "happy gorilla" and Selena Gomez, though. Who wants a grumpy gorilla, right?