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Happy 34th Birthday, Christina Aguilera: We Wrote You This Poem

HBD, Xtina.

In case you somehow missed those multiple breaking news push notifications from The New York Times this morning, today marks the 34th birthday of Christina Aguilera.

The past year has been a momentous one for Xtina. While taking time off from "The Voice," she got engaged to Matt Rutler, gave birth to their daughter, Summer Rain Rutler, revolutionized handheld gaming with Nintendo's "Tomodachi Life," and received a Grammy nomination for "Say Something," her collaboration with A Great Big World.

We knew that if we were going to get her a present, it would have to be something special. So, we settled on a poem -- but not just any poem. We decided to challenge ourselves by taking on one of the most difficult forms of poetry ever conceived: the acrostic. Enjoy.

  • C Is For...

    ...Christina. Christina Aguilera.

  • H Is For...

    ...Her name is Christina. Christina Aguilera.

  • R Is For...

    ...Really. Her name is Christina Aguilera.

  • I Is For...

    ...I think you already know her name. Let's move on.

  • S Is For...

    ...Slain, which pretty accurately describes us in her presence.

  • T Is For...

    ...True lover of music.

  • I Is For...

    ...I love her fan collection. Because I love her fan collection.

  • N Is For...

    ...Next year, and all the #FireAndFun she might bring.

  • Last Of All, A Is For...

    ...yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAssss. Thank you.