FX

The 23 Hottest Dudes From 'American Horror Story' Ranked

From Smoke Show to 'Freak Show.'

Ryan Murphy has many skills, and getting beautiful men to star on "American Horror Story" is most definitely one of them. However, not all hot characters are created equal -- things like personality or deadness can sometimes get in the way -- which is why we've done you the favor of ranking them. Gather your pitchforks, tar and feathers.

  1. Denis O'Hare as Spalding from "Coven"

    He had flawless hair, and a strong sense of loyalty to his woman. Basically, what he lacked in sex appeal, he made up in purity of heart. (If murdering people for an evil witch can be called "purity of heart," which on this show, it definitely can.)

  2. Mark Consuelos as Spivey from "Asylum"

    Kelly Ripa's hubs played a deranged pedophile in "Asylum." So he was awful, but like -- look at him. He's an attractive awful.

  3. Danny Huston as The Axeman from "Coven"

    The Axeman was horrifying (and based on a real-life killer), but there's also something innately charming and silver fox-ish about Danny Huston that elevates his rankings.

  4. Zachary Quinto as Chad Warwick from "Murder House"

    Chad was hot, if not entirely memorable.

  5. Teddy Sears as Patrick from "Murder House"

    Chad's boyfriend Patrick was a similarly deranged hot piece. Not exactly legend status, but he pulled his weight.

  6. Evan Peters as Kyle Spencer from "Coven"

    Sigh. Kyle was great while he was alive for all of five minutes. The rest of this time, he just served as a reminder that "AHS" sidelined one of its strongest actors for an entire season.

  7. Zachary Quinto as Dr. Oliver Thredson from "Asylum"

    Dr. Thredson was a deranged murderer of women, and he made Lana Winters go through conversion therapy. NO THANKS.

  8. Denis O'Hare as Stanley from "Freak Show"

    He has a 13-inch penis, so do with that what you will.

  9. Morris Chestnut as Luke from "Murder House"

    Real talk, I forgot Luke was on this show. But now that I remember, I remember that he was hot.

  10. Joseph Fiennes as Monsignor Timothy Howard from "Asylum"

    Tim Howard wasn't so bad for a priest. He was also a pretty boring character given the backdrop of "AHS"'s best season, so there's that.

  11. Ian McShane as Murder-Santa from "Asylum"

    There is always something disturbingly enigmatic about Ian McShane, even when he's playing a random ass Murder Santa.

  12. Dylan McDermott as Johnny Morgan from "Asylum"

    Baby Bloody looked great, but his mommy issues render him essentially undateable. Pass.

  13. Lance Reddick as Papa Legba from "Coven"

    100 percent down for this baby-sacrificing, voodoo demon coke head.

  14. Michael Graziadei as Travis from "Murder House"

    Constance's main piece was a beautiful idiot. Los Angeles can be a glorious place.

  15. Evan Peters as Tate Langdon from "Murder House"

    Tate may be a popular character in "AHS" land, but I happen to disagree when it comes to his hotness -- Evan Peters' good looks fly right out the door as soon as you see that horrific high school shooting scene. It's a little too close to life to make the character even the slightest bit desirable.

  16. Dylan McDermott as Dr. Ben Harmon from "Murder House"

    So, Dylan McDermott is obviously a very attractive man, and Harmon was undoubtedly a more appealing character than Baby Bloody Face. However, that's not really saying much...

  17. Finn Wittrock as Dandy Mott from "Freak Show"

    Dandy is the absolute worst. However, he's also from the same planet as Zac Efron, so we have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of Finn Wittrock (and his glutes) on "AHS" in years to come.

  18. Evan Peters as Jimmy Darling from "Freak Show"

    On the plus side, Jimmy is pure of heart, kind of soul, extremely romantic, and played by Evan Peters. But he's also a borderline alcoholic with a tendency to whine about things -- and seek solace in multiple women, despite being "in love" -- so he deserves to get knocked down a peg or two on the hotness ladder.

  19. Adam Levine as Leo Morrison from "Asylum"

    Former People Sexiest Man Alive Adam Levine obviously deserves a high spot on this list. Leo wasn't the most well-rounded character -- he bled out pretty much right off the bat -- but his crazy racy sex scenes and Adam Levine-ness make him a shoo-in for the top five.

  20. John Carroll Lynch as Twisty the Clown from "Freak Show"

    Bae.

  21. Mat Fraser as Paul the Illustrated Seal from "Freak Show"

    Mat Fraser is a beautiful man, and his performance as Paul the Illustrated Seal has been one of the major highlights of this "Freak Show" season. To get all earnest on you for a quick sec, it brings me hope that more talented folks who don't look like an Evan Peters or Finn Wittrock can make it in show biz -- let's just hope Ryan Murphy brings him back for more.

  22. Evan Peters as Kit Walker from "Asylum"

    Of all of the "AHS" characters Peters has played, Kit Walker reigns supreme. He had the swagger of Jimmy Darling without the alcoholism and self-pity, the loyalty of Kyle without the Frankenstein's monster vibes, and the magnetism of Tate without the evil, psychopathic tendencies. He also treated every single person he encountered with kindness, which is inevitably why he ended up accused of mass murder in a mental institution.

  23. Matt Bomer as Andy the dead hooker on "Freak Show"

    Oh Andy. Your time on this "AHS" world was short but oh-so-sweet. But seriously, it was messed up when you made Dandy feel bad. (I'm sorry, was somebody else supposed to top this list when Matt Bomer was in the mix? Not going to happen.)