Over the past couple years, largely thanks to the internet, more Americans have become familiar with Krampus, the horned, switch-wielding Christmas beast who beats bad children and brings them back to his forest lair while the good kids enjoy the spoils of St. Nick's sleigh.
The prospect of getting kidnapped and tortured by the Dark Lord of Yuletide Doom is obviously much scarier than that of receiving coal from Santa, so this bit of Germanic folklore hasn't really caught on with our holly jolly holiday tradition here. But just because you're American doesn't mean you can't get into the Krampus spirit. We've narrowed down your search to the creepiest items on eBay.
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"Living Dead" Krampus doll watches you sleep
This thing definitely comes alive when you turn out the lights.
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Krampus "Talking Teddy"
A horrifying hybrid that should be burned immediately before it opens a portal to the underworld.
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Bleeding-Eye Krampus statue
Doesn't need eyes because it will see through yours after it possesses you.
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Krampus oak and bamboo figurine
Whoever finds seven-inch this haunted artifact in a horror movie definitely dies first.
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Smiling Krampus glass ornament
Put this on your tree and you've got a great conversation piece... if you want that conversation to be, "DEAR GOD, why won't it stop staring at me?!"
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Hooved Krampus glass ornament
Not creepy? The frightened kid in the sack, tho.
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Pervy "Krampus Teacher" postcard
Gah, to make matters worse, Krampus is an old pervert.
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Krampus shrunken head
"Total length from top of horns to bottom of feathers is around 16 inches so this is a fairly large piece." Yeah, wise choice leaving this outside the house.
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Krampus sledding away postcard
Are the kids flailing in a panic because they have been taken by this beast, or cheering as they're whisked away? And which is more disturbing?
