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Hey Ariana Grade: This Out-There Indie Singer Thinks You're Soulmates

Ariel Pink's got a thing for Ari, and their cutesy celeb couple portmanteau is almost too easy.

We all know Ariana Grande is currently dating Big Sean -- they kissed on a haunted roller coaster, so it's official!

But is the rapper really Grande's perfect match? According to Ariel Pink, who released his excellent solo record Pom Pom this week, the answer is a resounding "Nahhh!"

So, which dude deserves Ariana's cat-ear-accessorized heart? We'll let Pink answer that question.

"I’m in love with Ariana Grande," Pink told "She’s got a very curious personality, I hear she loves Freddy Krueger and I love Freddy Krueger, which makes me feel like we’d be perfect for each other."

Well, you do both also have glorious hair. And enjoy winking.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm 100% behind this potential love connection. And to celebrate what I imagine to be a future musical romance akin to Sonny & Cher, Captain & Tennille, and Jay & Beyonce (Ari & Ari, anyone?) I went ahead and imagined that some of the more romantic lyrics on Pom Pom were penned for Ariana (blithely ignoring of course, the fact that most of said lyrics are wholly tongue-in-cheek and/or immediately followed by sentiments that directly undercut that sentimentality. Because, you know, love). Oddly enough, they play out like a modern-day fairytale...

Check it -- and also snap up Pom Pom post haste.

"If you want all this and more/ Put your number in my phone"

This line -- from, appropriately, the song "Put Your Number In My Phone" -- pretty accurately reflects what Ari should do when she meets Ari. You want all that and more, lady -- this dude can pull off spandex like a boss.

Related: Ariana Grande And Big Sean Look Romantic As Ever Holding Hands, Singing To Each Other

"One summer night/ I will call you up"

And this lyric, of course, basically sums up what will happen next. It comes from the song "One Summer Night," in case you were wondering. (Don't blow her off like that chick from the taco truck in Silverlake, Ariel.)

"Waiting for my Alice in Wonderland/ To come along and knock upon my door"

Ariel is waiting, Ariana! Waiting for his Disney princess to hit him up after he calls her on that summer night (I know Alice wasn't a princess, but let's pretend for the sake of their relationship). This lyric comes from the song "Sexual Athletics" so, um, yeah... Moving on!

"The enchanted frog was waiting for his princess charming/ To come and kiss him on his frog lips/ And who'd he turn into?/ Me!"

And it all ends, as the fairytales go, with a transformative kiss -- as Pink so accurately demonstrates in "Exile on Frog Street."

Dare we say it...

And They Lived Happily Ever After!

And If Not...

Pink also said he would definitely marry Taylor Swift, and it seems like she's on the market. So there's that.