The mere attempt to improve upon Taylor Swift's pop magnum opus, 1989, is a fool's errand, and you're clearly no fool. It's virtually unf*ckwitable. Did Michelangelo go back and futz with the "Rondanini Pieta"? Did Mozart hack away at "Requiem" until it became a shell of itself? Well, no on both accounts, because they both died before they finished. My point being that some works of art need no alterations, revisions, or edits. They're peerless and, to paraphrase Bruno Mars, "they're amazing just they way they are."
Taylor's fifth album needed no extra verses, no fewer choruses, not even a spare comma or coda. There's only one thing it needed, and that's a crucial emoji makeover.
Here's Taylor Swift's "1989" boiled down to its emoji-est essentials. We begin our story in New York.