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Happy Birthday Drake: 29 Things To Do Before You Turn 29

Enjoy your 28th birthday...then get started.

Today is October 24, which can only mean one thing -- it's Drake's birthday. It ain't easy to birthday shop for a guy who can purchase just about any material thing his Canadian heart desires, so we came up with a better present instead: A list of 29 things you should do before your 29th birthday. Don't stress, you've got 365 days to fit this all in. God speed.

1. Sign a 10-day contract with the Raptors, because being the team ambassador can’t cut it forever

2. Or, just buy the team, then brag about it to Jay Z

3. Create and host an actual awards show called the Hood Grammys -- because “we need this”

4. Follow through with that battle rap that you challenged Murda Mook to

5. Become the mayor of Toronto. Elections are close, on October 27, but how tough can it be to win, if Rob Ford can do it?

6. Create an official compilation album of Drake GIFs -- because you were made to be GIFed

7. Give Halle Berry a baby -- because no one can stop you

8. Sign a female artist to OVO Sound because you’re the “king of the ladies”

9. Just propose to Rihanna and get it over with -- doesn’t matter if she says no

10. Record the diss track to end all diss tracks and ether everyone who's ever trash talked you

11. Give us a mixtape that includes “Side Pieces” “Honorable Mention” and other future hood classics before your 4th album drops

12. Release a love song with Young Thug

13. Figure out a way to actually profit from the sale of "Drake Tears"

14. Go Platinum in less than a week when Views From The 6ix drops

15. Then release the full album of R&B slow jams that you know you want to (with Birdman ad-libs)

16. Go bar-for-bar with Kanye West on a song

17. Start a chain of strip clubs where dancers can only shake it to OVO songs

18. Re-release a video for “Best I Ever Had” so we can see how much you’ve changed

19. Briefly date one of the Kardashians so you and Khloe can "Take Toronto" together

20. Have your birthday declared a national holiday in Toronto, while you’re at it

21. Admit to Justin Bieber that he’s making Canada look bad

22. Purchase the Molson Amphitheatre in Toronto, like you promised at OVO Fest this year

23. Then change the laws, so Chris Brown’s felony record doesn’t prevent him from performing with you next time

24. Record a joint EP with Lil Wayne because the Drake vs. Wayne Tour was incredible

25. Get that Sade collaboration you've been wanting for years

26. Give an up-and-coming country singer a huge break by remixing one of their songs

27. Land a starring movie role, because that "Anchorman II" cameo doesn’t really count

28. Work on another set of limited-edition OVO Jordans then donate the insane profits to charity.

29. Keep doing what you do