You'll Like This Song About Shia LaBeouf Being A Cannibal Almost As Much As Shia LaBeouf Does

Pardon: actual cannibal.

Watch out, it would appear that The Beef is hungry...for human flesh.

In Rob Cantor's "Shia LaBeouf," the comedian tells the tale of the titular actor turned straight up cannibal. The monologue/song/spoken-word-poetry/your new pick for the theme song for your TV show describes "Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf" killing for sport, living in the woods, being an "actual cannibal." No mention of his metamarathon or Broadway butt-grabbing antics, but you can't have it all.

You're gonna love it! We haven't even mentioned the dancers, aerial performers, massive amounts of glitter and entire men's chorus backing Cantor, either.

And, judging from the twist ending of the video, a certain very special cannibal likes it too. Who could we possible be talking about? You'll have to watch to find out. (It's Shia LaBeouf, duh.)