29 Priceless Cakes Tell Your Entire Life Story

These gourmet delicacies are NSFBS (Not Safe For Bake Sales).

Remember all those cute, colorful birthday cakes you got when you were little? They were great and all, but let's be real here -- they were a tad superficial and overly polite. Courteous baked goods are so overrated. Instead, here are some cakes that honestly describe each stage of your life.

1. When you're born:

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2. When you're an impulsive child:

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Related: 11 Brutally Honest Breakup Notes Written By Kids

3. When you hit puberty:

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4. When you're in that angsty, talk-back-to-your-parents phase:

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5. When you learn how to stand up for yourself:

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6. When it's your sibling's birthday:

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7. When it's your birthday:

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8. When your best friend talks s--t behind your back:

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9. When you go off to college and gain the freshman 15:

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10. When you're in your first relationship:

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11. When you're ready to take the next step:

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12. When your roommate kind of hates you:

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13. When your roommate REALLY hates you:

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14. When you experience your first heartbreak:

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15. When you're not ready to be a grownup just yet:

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16. When you graduate college:

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Related: 27 SnapChats That Perfectly Explain College

17. When you have a momentary lapse in judgment:

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18. When you get your first job:

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19. When you meet a FWB:

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20. When you're feeling a little under the weather:

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21. When you're ready to accept your fate as a cat lady:

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22. When you eventually become a grownup:

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23. When you learn how to cook:

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24. When you introduce your significant other to your parents:

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25. When you get married:

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26. When you have a kid:

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27. When you make the first of many dad jokes:

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28. When your kid starts dating someone special:

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29. When you retire:

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