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Watch Obama Shut Down Idiot Who Tells Him 'Don't Touch My Girlfriend'

You got to meet the president, dude, and THIS is what you say?!

While in Chicago yesterday to vote, President Obama got a unique kind of heckler: The fiancé of a woman pulling the adjacent lever, who apparently views the president as some kind of romantic rival.

"Don't touch my girlfriend," Mike Jones told the most powerful man in the world, for some inexplicable reason.

"You know, I really wasn't planning on it," Obama said with a deadpan tone and matching expression, and then launched into a pretty great monologue. Watch the video below:

The woman, Aia Cooper, clearly felt embarrassed by her man's behavior, and Obama wouldn't let it go. "There's an example of a brother just embarrassing you, just for no reason whatsoever," Obama said, proceeding to imitate her "talking to your friends" later that evening: "'I can't believe Mike. He's such a fool.'"

"He really is," Cooper said, subsequently admitting she was "freaking out."

The awkward conversation kept going and going, and going some more. (If Obama is really changing his mind on torture, this would be exhibit A.)

Afterward the president rubbed it in even further. He "gave me a hug and a kiss, on the cheek, just the cheek," Cooper recounted to Chicago's ABC station. "Please, Michelle, don't come after me -- just the cheek!"

We're guessing the Obamas are more concerned with political issues than this couple's issues.