Very few college freshmen are blessed with the luxury of having a single bedroom. If you're one of the many people who share a room with a friend or a complete stranger, you know how awkward navigating relationships and casual hook-ups can be. So what do you do when you need some sexytime and your roommate is in the way? Here's some advice.
DO let them know you're on the prowl ahead of time
If your roomie is spending their night binge-watching Netflix and eating cheese puffs in bed, give them a forewarning before you start your wild night -- a simple "Hey, I'm going out tonight and wanna bring someone back here" will do. This makes it clear that they may need to take their "Arrested Development" marathon elsewhere in a few hours.
DO text them a heads-up when you're on the way home
This way, your roomie has adequate time to gather all the supplies -- their laptop charger, phone charger, textbooks, whatever -- they need to entertain themselves during the indefinite period of time they won't be able to enter their room.
DO leave a sock or a note or SOMETHING on the door
Or pizza. Pizza works too. One of my friends used to place a giant orange traffic cone in front of her door -- whatever most clearly gets the "don't you dare open this door" message across.
DON'T do the deed while your roommate's still in the room
Come on, don't be that person. Even if you're 100% sure your roomie is asleep, I guarantee they WILL wake up at some point while you're doing your thing. And they WILL hold at least a temporary grudge against you.
DON'T make a racket
This is just immensely uncomfortable for everyone you live with. Again, don't be that person. At least turn on some loud music or something.
DON'T defile your roommate's bed, desk, chair, etc.
Just don't do it.
DO dispose of the evidence
Don't leave a used condom chilling in you and your roommate's shared trash can. Nobody wants to see or *cringe* smell that. Take out the trash, stat.
DON'T let your fun buddy stay too late
A sleepover here or there is fine, but try to save the overnights for weekends when your roomie is out of town. No one likes sleeping on the couch multiple times per week.
DON'T get your freak on when your roomie has important sh-t to do the next day
Don't sexile your roommate when they've got a huge exam or interview the next morning (unless, of course, they say they're OK with it). Let them study and get a good night's sleep in peace.
DO let your roomie sexile you
Hey, you can't have all the fun. Take a few turns on the couch yourself.