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This Beyonce Fanfic Is Basically The Fashion Version Of Chuck Norris Facts

If you're anything like me, you spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what Beyonce might be doing at any given moment. For example, this weekend, I was walking around the Tribeca neighborhood of NYC (where Bey and Jay reportedly live), and immediately upon exiting the subway and hitting the cobblestone walks, I wondered, "Is this a street Beyonce takes or does she make sure to avoid it because the uneven walk is treacherous when she's in Louboutins? OR better yet, does she actually just glide over roads and walkways without setting foot on them?"

If you, too, are prone to this hyperbolic imagining of Beyonce's life as Queen of Everything™, then this Twitter just might be for you. Basically, the highly LOL account—run by fashion devotee and funny dude Spencer Niemetz—dispatches fictional updates on Beyonce's life off stage and out of the public eye. The result is basically the fashion version of those Chuck Norris facts that swept the internet in the late 2000s.

We find out what Beyonce does with Coach handbags:

And how she handles upsetting news:

We find out what's really in her bag:

We're let in on her magic beauty secrets:

We're jealous of this special power the most, TBH:

She sends dressing room pics to friends to help her shop:

And we realize that sometimes Bey just has different shopping woes:

And doing her hair goes differently:

Getting dressed goes a little differently, too:

Sure, she keeps a mirror in her purse, just like us:

And she's extremely emoji literate like us:

But she's still Beyonce:

And her problems are different:

Check out @BEYONCEFANFIC for more!