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Vinny Guadagnino's Redemption: My Future Wife And Kids Will Be Smart

The former 'Jersey Shore' star thanked MTV News for validating his ass obsession.

Vinny Guadagnino likes us! He really likes us! He practically said so.

Sure, there are the obvious reasons -- MTV's "Jersey Shore" catapulted him into a bona fide celebrity and his spin-off, "The Show with Vinny," proved he's no one-hit wonderboy -- but the reason he's thanking @mtvnews in this Instagram video has nothing to do with his reality TV career. It's about something more important: his future wife and kids.

In a story MTV News posted yesterday entitled Here’s The Surprising Scientific Reason Why Men Are Attracted To Big Butts, staff writer Brenna Ehrlich broke down the allure of apple-bottom booty, as explained by evolutionary psychologist Gordon G. Gallup, Jr.

"If she has broad hips it means that the underlying skeletal morphology is probably such that she’d be able to have a relatively unencumbered childbirth," he said, basically meaning she's an A+ procreator who won't deliver coneheads. And Gallup also noted that females with considerable junk in the trunk, as well as their kids, tend to have a significant cognitive advantage. There's a whole scientific reason behind it (puns are fun!), which Vinny so kindly narrated for his social media friends and haters, followed by this personal message:

"Haha, I do date smart girls, and my kids are gonna be smart."

We don't doubt you, Vin! Just keep them away from the Jersey Shore -- brain cells are known to get sapped in juicehead-populated regions.