Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes' glittering bundle of genetically superior joy -- a.k.a. their baby -- has a name!
And what a name it is. Get ready for this, guys... Are you ready? Do you need to sit down? Do you need a cold drink? How about a fainting couch? OK? Ready? Here goes.... The baby's name is Esmerelda Amada Gosling. [Insert noise that a magic wand makes here.]
I know? Right?!
We heard wind that Gosling and Mendes had procreated back in September, and, after we had finally dried our tears and accepted that Ryan would never love us, we started wondering... What would this glorious baby girl be named? In our heads, she was wondering, too, crying into the abyss like The Childlike Empress, "Call my name!"
Sidenote: This is how we picture the aforementioned baby. Magic.
Well now we know, thanks to a birth certificate that's leaked onto the scene. Ace naming skills, guys, really -- this sounds like the name of a Swan Princess. The name of a Disney princess. The name of, well, any kind of princess, really. And it's only fitting -- Gosling and Mendes are basically America's version of royalty.
It's true, Ryan! Don't get bashful.
Princesses aside, though, the chosen name is interesting for another reason: Both Esmerelda and Amada are names of characters Mendes has played in the past. She played a woman named Esmerelda in the TV series, "V.I.P." and a character named Amada in the 2007 film, "We Own the Night."
It's sad that Ryan didn't get any of his roles up in there, too. Esmerelda Sean Halon Gosling has a nice ring to it...