You knew this day would come. First, Dad horrified you with the announcement that he was "thinking of getting back out there." Then he made an offhand comment about how he's "kind of seeing someone." And now, here you are, munching on breadsticks, face to face with the woman who is sucking face with your father.
Here's how to get through this meal without losing your lunch.
Compliment something she's wearing
It's superficial and a little trite, but complimenting her outfit is also universal girl code for "We cool." Right off the bat, say you love her shoes, and you guys will get off on the right foot, opening the door for painless and inoffensive conversation. The longer you can talk about the great deals at Nordstrom Rack, the less likely you are to hear about how "cute" she thinks your dad is. (Barf.)
Remember that she's nervous about meeting you
If she cares about your dad, she desperately wants to impress you. Know that this nervousness may take the form of shyness or trying too hard. Be a good sport, to the best of your ability, and give her the benefit of the doubt that she's cooler than her insistence on checking you in together on Facebook would lead you to believe.
Have a drink if you're 21+
Of course and obviously. The Great Social Lubricant will help ease awkwardness, lighten the mood, and put you in a much better headspace to process learning that "Your father is actually a very good salsa dancer." (Just don't overdo it, lest you start yelling at her -- and your dad -- for the fact she's not your mom.)
If she's young, make the most of it
In true divorced-dad-having-a-midlife-crisis form, your father may be under the erroneous impression that dating a young person is the same as being one. If you find yourself on the receiving end of such devastating news as "I used to love *NSync, too!", remember that you're not losing respect for your dad -- you're gaining someone who will defend your nose ring to him.
Make fun of your pops
If you've searched for common ground with her and come up short, try your hand at old reliable: Mocking the man who is responsible for your existence. His recent obsession with emojis? The fact that he leaves 10-minute voicemails? She has opinions on all of it. Invite her to share a nice laugh at Dad's expense, and a good time will be had by all. (Except maybe him. But, hey, at least he's getting lucky. Double barf.)