How To Dress Like 2014 For Halloween

Do NOT wear the Ebola Hazmat costume. If you want to be topical, rock one of these ideas instead.

Halloween costumes come in three flavors: Scary, sexy, and topical.

Want to scare folks? Slap some fake blood on a monster mask. Want to look sexy? Pick a profession and show your midriff. But topical costumes take work. They have to be relevant, recognizable, and -- above all -- FUNNY. Otherwise, you're left trying to explain why you've shown up to the party in an "Austin Powers" costume for the 17th straight year -- or trying to explain why you chose to offend everybody there and possibly everybody on the internet.

Related: What Not To Do On Halloween: Wear This Ebola Costume

So, here are the materials you'll need to turn 2014 events, memes and celebs into awesome costumes that won't seem dated and might actually make people laugh.

Bob Costas' pink eye

NBC

What you'll need:

A suit

Horn-rimmed glasses

Pink eye shadow

Sanctimonious attitude (optional)

Really lay on the pink to capture that, "Ew, he caught that from fecal particles" flavor.

Ashley Wagner

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Tight ponytail

Sparkly skating suit

Woefully low judge's cards

A whole lot of sass

You'll need to perfect Ashley Wagner's shade face after seeing her Winter Olympics scores. Get the look and stay icy.

World Cup player

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Neymar Brazil jersey

Wacky wig

Back brace

Seven soccer balls

Or you could just put on basically any nation's kit and spend the whole night diving on the ground at the slightest contact.

Scottish independence

Paramount Pictures

What you'll need:

"Braveheart" face paint

Kilt

Picture of the queen with face crossed out

No underwear (for maximum independence)

So what if it didn't actually pass? Do your best Shrek impression, and then accidentally forget to vote to complete the look.

Ariana Grande

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Tight hair tie

Midriff-baring shirt

Kitty ears

Maybe the easiest costume on the board for all you brunettes out there. Just get a top tail, add her signature cat ears, and be suuuuuper coy about who you're dating.

Related: Ariana Grande Is Already Dressing Up For Halloween

iPhone 6

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Refrigerator box

Slide ruler

Paint the box to look like an iPhone. Get everyone's attention, then bump against walls until it's bent. Prove it's bent to everyone with the slide rule. Carry around a smaller box that you look at scornfully.

Demi Lovato

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Hair dye

Fedora

Sharpie

Any Demi costume means drawing on her signature tattoos, plus giving yourself a cute li'l cleft chin for accuracy. Pick about four different hair dyes, then plop on the hat and start judging some singing contests.

Carlton from "Fresh Prince"

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Tennis sweater

Sick dance moves

How is this topical for 2014, not 1994? Well, Alfonso Ribeiro is getting a second shot at the spotlight, and you can get the look by dressing like a country club grandpa and busting out the Carlton dance.

"Sharknado 2"

SyFy

What you'll need:

Last year's "Sharknado Costume"

The most anticipated sequel of 2014 didn't even land in movie theaters -- but it did dominate on social media. So if you wore a "Sharknado" costume for Halloween 2013, just put it back on again and hit the same party. People will remember how funny it was last year, and be slightly disappointed. Boom, there's "Sharknado 2."

Related: ‘Sharknado 3′ Is Coming To Destroy The East Coast

A law-obeying pothead

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Denver Broncos jersey OR Washington apple full of holes

Funyons

Opinions about chemtrails

Warning: Just because weed is legal in Colorado and Washington, police in other states won't buy your explanation that "it's just a costume prop, man."

A Cleveland Cavaliers fan

What you'll need:

Pre-2008 LeBron James Jersey covered in burns

"We Hate LeBron" sign hastily crossed out

"I'm Coming Home" playing on loop

Cavs fans have undergone the NBA equivalent of whiplash. Now that we're all happy for them, we can ruthlessly make fun of them. Get that pre-cooked jersey out of the backyard where it's buried, and talk about how you never stopped loving your hometown hero.

The Oscar selfie

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Cardboard poster

Printed-out picture

Ridiculous selfie-extending sticks

Remember this? It was the most retweeted thing on the planet last year, and it was only missing one thing: Your face! Blow it up and cut out a hole to replace your least-favorite celeb with your own mug.

Jaden Smith

What you'll need:

All-white Batman outfit

Print out some of Jaden's signature tweets and pass them out, to capture the future of pyramid building and purple skies.

Nicki, Jessie J and Ariana

Getty Images

What you'll need:

Diva outfits

Diva attitudes

Pair of scissors

Get your two most callipygian friends (that's our new vocab word for the day) or just put some balloons in your yoga pants, and have the brave Nicki impersonator use the scissors to approximate her VMAs wardrobe malfunction. If there are only two of you, do Iggy Azalea and J-Lo, recreating the "Booty" video all night. After all, more than anything, 2014 is the year of the butt.