October is finally here! [Insert some joke utilizing Green Day lyrics!]
As the unofficial best month of the year (Sorry, December! Are you kidding me, February?) the first full month of fall is replete with many splendors -- lights in the darkness that will fortify us during those long winter months ahead.
As you bundle yourselves in sweaters and gorge on PSLs, allow us to break down the most exciting aspects of the month we are currently bathing ourselves in like a bone-dry-parched traveler at a desert oasis.
1. Candy Corn
Candy corn is simultaneously the most delicious and disgusting treat ever to be created by the hands of mortals. The first hit is like pure manna, sending a surge of energy and unadulterated euphoria straight to the Candyporal Lobe of the brain (which is 100% a real, medical thing). After that first taste, a candy-corn-ingester's brain can only retain one thought: "I REQUIRE MORE."
After said "more" is "required" and subsequently ingested, however, the shaking, sugar-addled candy corn stan is rendered immune to the confection's charms -- as they are thoroughly sated and sickened -- and a full 365 days are required to once again feel the hunger associated with Halloween's trickiest treat.
2. 'Gilmore Girls' Coming To Netflix
That most autumnal of television programs -- seriously, it's forever-fall in Stars Hollow -- is officially available in full on Netflix this October 1. Yup, it's time to binge on the antics of the two Loreleis like the aforementioned sweet treat. Unlike candy corn, however, you can never have enough "Gilmore Girls." At least you'll keep telling yourself that as you pull away from friends, family and loved ones, replacing IRL relationships with your new pals Lane, Kirk, Dean, Paris and the rest...
3. Fall Foliage
Aren't leaves the prettiest!? If you manage to tear your eyes away from "Gilmore Girls," you can go "leaf-peeping" this October -- which is, surprisingly, not as creepy (or inherently sad) as it sounds.
4. Taylor Swift's 1989 Drops
Taylor Swift's new record, 1989, drops on October 27. We'll be shaking (it off) with excitement until then.
5. The Crisp Feeling In The Air That Just Tugs At Your HEART
Can you feel the stirring in your soul that precedes the change in seasons? The chill that creeps into your bed in the early morning that whispers to you, "Good morning... Slumber a bit longer in this cocoon of softness and warmth. The day will wait for you, autumnal sweaters and apple cider peeking around every corner..." Too bad it's Wednesday -- up and at 'em!
6. 'American Horror Story: Freak Show' Premieres
You may have trouble actually slumbering, however, as "American Horror Story: Freak Show" is out on October 8 and gahhhhhhhhhhhh!
7. Everything Smells Like Bonfires And Autumn-Tinged Joy
BUT JUST SMELL THE AIR! SMELL IT!
8. 'Annabelle' Premieres
But maybe, you know, from a safe, secure place -- because "Annabelle," that movie about the creepy murderous doll, comes out on October 3.
9. Dressing Up In A Costume Becomes Socially Acceptable
10. Weezer Drops Everything Will Be Alright In The End
Also, Weezer is basically saying we're all going to be OK -- right there in the title of their new record, which is out October 7. The album art, however, is still pretty ominous.
11. 'Gone Girl' Comes Out
Speaking of ominous, "Gone Girl" -- in which a man's wife goes missing and he's the lead suspect -- is also out this month: October 3, to be exact.
12. 'The Vampire Diaries' Is Back
Oh, and the day before -- as in tomorrow -- "Vampire Diaries" comes back and we hope, hope, hope Damon does, too!
13. The Dancing Pumpkin Man's Return
If he doesn't, though, and your heart is broken -- or you're sick from too much candy corn/burned out on "Gilmore Girls"/just need a new lease on life -- watch the above.
14. Discounted Halloween Candy
And when all else has been said and done -- when all music has dropped and movies have premiered and leaves have been peeped -- there is one crowning glory to the month that begins with "Oct": half-price candy. Did we say you need 365 days to recover from candy corn overload? JK! Try 365 seconds. Happy sugar-comaing!