Last night (September 30), everything we've ever known to be true was shattered when Lionsgate announced that there would be more "Twilight" on the way, specifically in a series of mini-movies helmed by aspiring female directors, which will debut on Facebook in 2015.
The films will be made under the mentorship of a dynamite panel of female advisers, which includes Stephenie Meyer, Kate Winslet, Octavia Spencer, "Frozen" director Jennifer Lee, "Twilight" director Catherine Hardwicke, "Modern Family" actress Julie Bowen, Women In Film President Cathy Schulman, and, of course, Kristen Stewart.
This news is a lot to digest all at once, so here is our hopefully-helpful guide to understanding the nine stages of finding out there's more "Twilight" on the way:
1. First, there's denial. Denial that there might be more Denali.
2. Then, there's curiosity. You start searching the Interwebs on "legitimate websites" for proof that it might actually be true.
3. ... And guess what? It is true. It finally starts to sink in that it's really, really true. For a second, you begin to panic.
4. So you grab the nearest human you can find, and hug them like there's no tomorrow. There is simply too much joy to contain.
5. Next there's the need to share, so you tell all of your real life AND Tumblr friends, and spurn their disbelief with the cold, hard facts. THERE'S MORE "TWILIGHT!!"
6. After that you just feel really, really good about yourself, because you know you've done them all a solid by spreading the Twi-joy.
7. Next there's nervous anticipation, so you watch the first five "Twilight" movies, because it doesn't hurt so bad now that there's more to come.
8. Then you finally go to bed, giddy over how many rich characters the "Twilight" mini-movies might focus on.
9. ... And then, with "Twilight" on the brain, you have sweet, sexy dreams of Edward and/or Jacob. Good night!