There are 34 days until Halloween. As we get closer, we'll be offering up more and more costume ideas for the spookiest day of the year, but for now, we've decided to help those of you out who might be down on All Hallows' Eve thanks (or no thanks) to a poorly timed temporary injury or ailment. Accidents do happen, and while you may have lost use of whatever appendage you've injured (for now!!!), you've actually won Halloween. Trust us, we got you.

GOT A BROKEN ARM?

Costume: Crash Test Dummy

Cost: $55

Why It Works: This might be a little too on the nose, but think of it this way: You're already banged up, you might as well take advantage of this. Just slip on this Adult Crash Test Dummy Morphsuit, $55, from Party City and boom instant crash test dummy. If you manage to talk a friend into the same suit, you could do double duty by being the Crash Test Dummies, which will have you humming "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" in no time.

Costume: Bird With Broken Wing

Cost: $80

Why It Works: Want the most aww-worthy costume of the season? Look no further than a baby bird with a broken wing. All you need is a bird onesie (we found the Kigurumi Owl Costume, $80, from Urban Outfitters) and a sling for your broken wing. Easy peasy.

FORCED TO WEAR CRUTCHES?

Costume: Gorilla

Cost: $75

Why It Works: Now hear me out. Think about it, you're already going to be stooped over—why not let form follow function? And if you cover your crutches with fake fur, think about all the extra points you get for being ~ingenious~ (you're welcome). The Adult Gorilla Costume, $75, is available at Halloweencostumes.com.

BOO-BOO MAKING YOU WEAR AN EYE PATCH?

Costume: Slick Rick

Cost: $25 and a borrowed matching sweatsuit

Why It Works: Pirates are overplayed, and too easy. Why not slip into the role of royalty when you channel "Rick the Ruler." All you need is an eye patch ($1, though, you presumably already have one), a crown (this Costume Maltese Crown is a deadringer for one Ricky Dee's and it's only $5), and piles of gold chains ($8 and $11 respectively). Oh and don't forget to brush up on those "Children's Stories."

Costume: Elle Driver From Kill Bill

Cost: $65

Why It Works: Hey ladies, don't let the dudes have all the eyepatch fun. If you happen to wear one, you can't wrong with Little Miss California Mountain Snake. It's iconic, stylish, and it looks like you put way more effort into your ~lewk~ than you actually did. You can buy the whole kit and kaboodle from Cosgrave for a cool $60. We also did you a solid by digging up a syringe ($6) from Party City as well.

GOT PINK EYE?

Costume: Ziggy Stardust

Cost: $99

Why It Works: IT DOESN'T. STAY INSIDE, AND DO NOT SPREAD THAT AROUND. Just call it a night, and resign yourself to not answering the door during a private viewing of the Labyrinth and Flight of the Conchords.

SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR FACE IDK LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT

Costume: Margiela Kanye West

Cost: Priceless, TBH

Why It Works: Listen, IDK why you need to cover your face—if you're asking ME it's because I sprouted a zit that saw its own shadow and now we have six more weeks of winter, but you've got your own probs. Regardless, Margiela Kanye is a pretty easy formula. All you need is a good pair of sneakers, double denim or a long trench, a glue gun ($4), a bagful of crystals, and something to apply it to (we suggest, maybe, pantyhose?). Bonus! We found you a tutorial, as well.

Costume: "I Am Not Famous" Shia LaBeouf

Cost: Almost nothing

Why It Works: Even easier than Margiela Kanye. All you need is a suit, a sharpie and a paper bag. And if you happen to be spending time with the olds (like your parents or grandparents), they'll think you're being clever and referencing The Unknown Comic. Just nod along, and you might get a king-size candy bar out of it.

Costume: Ghost Iggy Azalea

Cost: Potentially angering your mom by ruining that old sheet

Why It Works: For Ghost Iggy, all you need is a blanket and a sharpie to draw that cute little ghost face. Don't forget to write your name on it, so everyone knows it's just you and not actually a super scary ghost.

What did we tell you? There's a Halloween costume for every man, woman, and malady, and we are certified Halloween geniuses. GOOD DAY.