If I had a fever and the only prescription were more songs called "Burnin' Up," I would be so healthy right now. On Monday (September 22), Jessie J released a new song with that exact title, and much like its pop predecessors of the same name, it's on fi-yahhhhhhh.
The second single off of Sweet Talker, "Burnin' Up" sees Jessie sweltering under the heat of her lover: "Out in the kitchen like a thousand degrees, that's how I'm feeling when you're next to me." Featured rapper 2 Chainz's verse does nothing to quench the flames.
So, how does the Ricky Reed and Axident-produced follow-up to "Bang Bang" stack up against past pop songs named "Burnin' Up" -- specifically the ones made famous by the Jonas Brothers and Madonna? (OK, so M's song title is technically "Burning Up" with a G, but really? You're going to argue that?) Let's break it down.
Jessie J, 'Burnin' Up' Featuring 2 Chainz
Year Released: 2014
Breakdown: Once again, Jessie J's serving vocals on top of vocals on top of vocals. Though despite the singer's claims that she's "hot in the kitchen like a thousand degrees," she's burned us worse before.
Fire Safety Preparedness Level: Better bring some aloe just in case.
The Jonas Brothers, 'Burnin' Up' Featuring Big Rob
Year Released: 2008
Breakdown: What do you get when you combine Maroon 5-level disco-throwback singing with Wayans brother-level movie-genre satire? The JoBros' video for "Burnin' Up," which has nonetheless lost some heat since Kevin, Joe and Nick called it quits in 2013.
Fire Safety Preparedness Level: The wildfire has been contained...for now.
Madonna, 'Burning Up'
Year Released: 1983
Breakdown: Look, I never made it to Danceteria, and by the time I got to The Limelight, it had already been converted into a shopping center. But goddamn if this danceably anxious track off of Madonna's 1983 debut doesn't make me feel like I'm lost in the middle of a New York nightclub's dance floor in the early '80s.
Fire Safety Preparedness Level: NOT EVEN YOU CAN PREVENT THIS FOREST FIRE.
And the winner is...
Not to be #reductive, but you just can't beat the classic. Do you think that Jessie J or the Jonas Brothers should have edged out Madonna for the win? Let me know in the comments below. I won't be able to hear you over the sound of "Burning Up" blasting in my apartment, but, like, go for it.