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Mary J. Blige And Sam Smith’s New Song Is Perfect For All Of Your Emotional Baggage

Get yourself to therapy.

A song about therapy -- titled "Therapy" -- sung by Mary J. Blige and co-penned by Sam Smith? That has to be a tearjerker, right? Like, tears-streaming-down-your-cheeks-as-you-weep-into-a-disintegrating-tissue-and-get-all-blotchy-faced sad, right? Nope. Surprisingly, it's kind of a jam -- you know, more Bleachers' "I Wanna Get Better" than Eric Carmen's "All By Myself." With some Amy Winehouse thrown in for good measure.

"Why would I spend the rest of my days unhappy?/ Why would I spend the rest of this year alone?" Blige sings over a kind of doo-wop intro, "When I can go therapy/ When I can go therapy/ When I can go therapy/ Two times a day."

So, OK, it's not the happiest jam ever -- that's kind of a lot of therapy -- but it definitely has a driving beat that'll help you dance-cry through the quickly encroaching onset of winter S.A.D.

"Therapy" is on Mary J. Blige's upcoming The London Sessions album, due November 24. Get it, and get your head straight.