I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but summer is over. I know, I know. It just started, for sure, but the kids are back in school and the film festival circuit has begun.
But before we bid farewell to summer 2014 forever, I want to hand out some honors for the stand-out performances and the characters and body parts that made this season one to remember.
Movie with the Most Important Use of "Okay"
"The Fault in Our Stars"
There's probably no more disposable line of dialogue than "okay," but "The Fault in Our Stars" turns it into something that can brings tears to audience eyes, both happy and sad.
Movie Most Likely to Help Us Forget "X-Men: Last Stand"
"X-Men: Days of Future Past"
Somehow, they did it. I don't know how they did it, but the latest "X-Men" went even further than "First Class" to rectify the standing of the series that kicked off the modern superhero age. And now I just want more.
Most Disappointingly Okay Sequel
"How to Train Your Dragon 2"
The original "How to Train Your Dragon" was such a surprising delight that anything short of great would be a let-down. While I admire the grander scope of the sequel, this one was a bit all over the place.
"34 Jump Street: Return of the Ghost"
Was there really any other choice?
Best Calf Muscles
Guy Pearce in "The Rover"
There's a lot to like about David Michôd's super-bleak Australian thriller, but I have to give a special round of applause to Guy Pearce's gastrocnemiuses, which are majestic throughout, each like an eagle stretching its wings.
The Blue Fire in "Godzilla"
Here's a log of everyone's thoughts during "Godzilla": "Oh my God, will they please just show the mons— HELL YES! HELL YES! HELL YES!"
Biggest Badass of the Summer
Emily Blunt in "Edge of Tomorrow"
Not only was "Edge of Tomorrow" the biggest surprise of the summer, but Tom Cruise got the movie stolen from him. And action movies are what he does. Now all I can wish for is a prequel that centers on Rita when she had the power.
Most Underrated Ape
Koba in "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes"
Koba no ape, but Koba steal show from Caesar. Toby Kebbell good actor. Toby Kebbell deserve more credit.
Character Most Likely to Use 100% of Her Brain
Lucy in "Lucy"
Most Real, Authentic, Hysterical Laugh
Rocket Raccoon in "Guardians of the Galaxy"
That's a fake laugh.