Pumpkin spice season may come and go, the sun may go behind clouds and your jeans might not always fit, but there’s one thing that will always be there for you: “Friends.” No, not your actual friends (humans are fickle), but the 10 seasons of the bygone sitcom, which airs for roughly 25 hours a day in reruns, if only you know where to look.
In addition to the omnipresent syndication, the show’s fandom has enjoyed two huge announcements in the past two days: 1. The announcement of a Central Perk pop-up shop in New York (you can sit on the couch!!); 2. a reunion mini-sode on last night’s Jimmy Kimmel.
In light of the latter, we got to thinking about what our favorite group of huge apartment-inhabiting pals have been up to in the past 10 years. Where are the friends now? (Don’t forget, by rule of Friends Penal Code Section 7 Bulletpoint Whatever Whatever Just Handle It, since more than a third of the original “Friends” core cast was present, last night’s reunion plotline was technically canon.)
Despite her decade of marriage with Mike and the love she feels for their child, Phoebe somehow always feels she’s always stuck in second gear. She’s shaved her head, swapped the guitar for an electric and eliminated chia seeds from her diet in an attempt to shake things up. Somehow, she feels a strange desire for Ross and his legendary lovemaking.
Monica lives happily in Westchester with Chandler and their adopted twins, Erica and Jack. Sadly, Chandler meets his end in tragic circumstances. Monica soldiers on raising their children and working as a personal chef for suburban moms. Sometimes, she has a hard time containing her incestuous yearnings for her brother Ross, whose lovemaking skills are legendary.
After not making love for months, Rachel and Ross live a largely sexless life in their giganto apartment. They’re happy, but, you know. Luckily, the lack of rockin’ means that their friends always feel free to come a-knockin’. They host Monica and the twins on the regs, and force her to cook to earn her keep. Rachel continues to be Central Perk’s most fashionable patron.
Still great at lovemaking, though it hasn’t been his day, his week, his month, his year.
Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing
Dead of monkey rabies from Marcel the monkey. Very sad. RIP, Joey and Chandler.