If you are a teenager and have ever watched a television show aimed towards your demographic, you may have noticed that when characters your age have sex, the outcome — it’s not always so good. The adjective “bleak” could even be thrown around. Also “terrifying.” Yes, that is a word that would be applicable. Perhaps even “scarring?”
Public shaming, crushing regret, alien babies, there are myriad effects caused by doing the deed in the fictional world contained in your television set. We’ve compiled the most stunning examples of TV shows being not that down with getting down below:
1.) ’Buffy The Vampire Slayer’
After Buffy has sex for the very first time with her lurky beefcake vampire boyfriend, Angel, he turns into Angelus (or “BA” for “Bad Angel” as the message boards dubbed him). His transformation was part of an ancient curse whereby if he experienced one moment of happiness, his soul would be ripped away. Naturally, once he gets his soul back, this means he can never have sex with Buffy again.
2.) ’Gilmore Girls’
Perpetual Good Girl Rory Gilmore had myriad chances to lose her virginity — first with the towering Midwestern oak known as Dean, then with Jess, the bookworm bad boy. She chose option #3: Dean, but only after he had married some other girl who was basically a plot device. After Rory tells her mom, Lorelei, about losing it, yelling ensues and Rory jets off to Europe with her grandmother to eat cheese and have a generally horrible summer.
Max’s first sexual experience is with a fellow alien named Tess who can control people’s minds and who killed his friend Alex and made everyone forget about it. After she and Max do it, she becomes pregnant with an alien baby that she must bring back to some planet for some reason that we can’t remember because that show was confusing. In short: Have sex and you will have an alien baby and people will die.
Felicity randomly has sex with an art student rather than Noel or Ben. Nothing really bad happens — like someone turning evil or alien babies — but it does mess up her relationship with Noel and she ends up with Ben in the end via a weird series of time travel episodes. What is this, “Roswell”?
5.) ’Pretty Little Liars’
Basically every time someone has sex on PLL, it is implied that their paramour is either “A” — or in league with “A” — as if A-ness were a particularly contagious STD.
6.) ’Gossip Girl’
Human punching bag Jenny Humphrey loses her virginity to Chuck Bass because both are sad — Chuck because he and Blair have broken up (again) and Jenny because… well, she is a character that no one likes. After Jenny cries copiously in a chapel — and her brother Dan punches Chuck for sleeping with his sister — Jenny is sent to the suburbs to live with her mother.
7.) ’The Secret Life Of The American Teenager’
After Grace Bowman has sex for the first time, she finds out that her father died in a plane crash. At the same time she was having sex. Obviously, these two things are related.
8.) ’Dawson’s Creek’
SPOILER: Jen dies in the end. And… scene.
To see some non-fictional swiping of V-cards, tune in to “Virgin Territory” Wednesdays at 11/10c on MTV.