Not to be too cheeky, but the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards was the year of the butt. From Miley Cyrus heroically giving up twerking, to Beyonce's booty-full performance, to the (rough count) thousands of butts on display during Nick Minaj's performance of "Anaconda," it's clear the show was making due on the promise of the latter half of "Gluteus Maximus."
Hey, they call the award the Moon Man for a reason.
And because we spent the past few hours doing nothing but scouring every frame of the show for a glimpse of those sweet, sweet hams, here, for your enjoyment, are the 8 best butts of 2014:
9. Amber Rose
8. Jason Derulo
Even with a jacket covering that butt, we still want to see it wiggle for us.
7. Miley Cyrus
In sad butt news, Miley told Sway during the pre-show that she had given up twerking for good... And then proceeded to talk about Nicki Minaj's butt, instead.
"I love that ass" Cyrus said. "I can bring that body, I can bring that wrecking ball, but I can't bring that ass. Not that Anaconda."
6. Jennifer Lopez
Not only did the inventor of MusicButts(tm) Jennifer Lopez bring her big ol' booty from the block, she also plugged a "Booty" remix featuring Iggy Azalea, who also has a butt, FYI. Fun fact: most human beings have butts. #science.
5. Taylor Swift
OH NO TAYLOR IF YOU DON'T STOP YOU MIGHT SHAKE IT OFF.
4. Jessie J
She's got a booty like a Cadillac.
3. Jim Carrey
Jim Carrey also has a booty like a Cadillac. Side note: Cadillacs are really weird and long and thin, we're not sure this is a great word to characterize a butt. #science
Oh. My. Gosh.
Look at. Her. Butt.