You feed them. You walk them. You hand scoop their poop. It’s understandable that you’d want to exploit their likeness for your own social media gain. Just know that they’re not into it. At all. Let these reluctant muses prove it to you.
Without my make up on?! Aw hell no!
Not in front of the Shih Tzu.
This is what you’ve driven me to in an effort to get some f-ing privacy!
Have your laugh, then let me drink my kombucha in peace.
No one ever asks my opinions about politics.
What part of “no photos” didn’t you understand?
You could at least buy me a drink.
My ex used to make me pose for pictures. Ask me how he’s doing.
This is what I get for being a nice guy.
Who let you in here?! I’m firing my assistant!
Not before I’ve had my coffee.
Selfie with your own self, woman!
Come on. I’m trying to watch the game here.
Expect a call from my attorney!
I beseech thee, let me be!
I’m not your dancing monkey.
Is this because I chewed the end table?
It’s so funny I forgot to laugh.
Must you add insult to cone shaming?
I am a college graduate.