The Fifth Harmony-related events that transpired on August 23 were truly insane. Like, the only way to top what went down would be if Oprah Winfrey came out at the end of the evening to gift each and every person within a five-mile radius a Brand-New Car™ stuffed with the finest pashmina scarves and a lifetime supply of Teavana.
I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I just want to warn you that the information I'm about to tell you is kind of like an onion: there are layers upon layers upon layers of surprises to peel back, and you may or may not be left in tears by story's end.
Let's rewind back to the beginning. Hundreds of teens descended upon L.A.'s Hollywood And Highland Center (which you probably don't remember as place where the "Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" office was located until Season 4, but I do) on Saturday for a pre-VMA meetup with YouTubers Andrea Russett, Ricky Dillon, Jenn McAllister (a.k.a. jennxpenn), and noted Friday enthusiast Rebecca Black.
We so excited? Obviously. But, wait -- there's more.
After snapping some selfies with their literal legion of fans, the online personalities exited the stage for a 10-minute break while DJ Cole Plante whipped the crowd into an impromptu dance party. After cycling through Ariana Grande's "Break Free" and Kiesza's "Hideaway," 5H's "Bo$$" came on, and suddenly -- BAM! -- a flash mob broke out.
We're talking full-on choreography. All of my "Prom Scene From 'She's All That'" dreams came true, basically.
And just when I thought things couldn't get any more O.O.C., the ladies of Fifth Harmony themselves -- that's Ally, Normani, Dinah, Lauren, and Camila -- suddenly appeared out of nowhere onstage to surprise five lucky audiences members with a pair of tickets to the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards.
(The inhumanly loud decibel levels brought on by all the screaming fans had, at that point, become my new normal. I now have to live with a low scream of a hum everywhere I go, and I accept that.)
Literally zero regard for the physical, emotional, and spiritual stability of each and ever Harmonizer present. How could they? Why wouldn't they? Who do they think they are? Who do you think you are? Amen.
Let's all listen to Fifth Harmony's new track, "Them Girls Be Like," and try ready ourselves for what they've got planned for their VMA Pre-Show performance on Sunday, August 24.