It's here, y'all. Nicki Minaj’s "Anaconda" video dropped late last night and—whoa—it's even crazier than we anticipated. Sure, when we saw the single cover we knew we should be expecting a bevy of thongs to join Nicki's pasty collection, but this video is even MORE than we expected. Enough chit-chat, though—there's a lot of (minuscule) #FASHUN in this video that needs to be discussed and we're here to lead that discussion—let's get it started.
The video opens on Nicki in the jungle. She's not dressed in, like, hiking gear, but a gold chain-mail top and tiny black shorts.
Next is the colorful Alexander McQueen ~lewk~ she teased a few weeks ago—three Nickis > one. Obviously.
Also, um, those shoes. Hello.
Next, Nicki changes into some more comfortable shoes—the same pair of neon Air Jordan VIs she has on the "Anaconda" single art.
Things then take a turn for the fancy when she changes into pink stilettos. Also, that's a denim thong. Just a heads up.
Nicki then swaps the jorts for a teeny-tiny pink thong and matching bra. I don't know about where you guys work out, but my gym does not look like this. There is no neon, no thongs, no fun.
Next is the Balmain outfit that she shared alongside the McQueen one. She also gives her best pageant pose, which is something I never thought I'd get to see.
Nicki, I don't want to embarrass you, but your pants are falling down. Your underwear situation is out of control and people are staring.
This maid-inspired outfit is the most fabric Nicki has covering her body throughout the entire 4:49 video. She also ditches her new natural beauty approach for a two-tone pink wig.
Neither stays clean for long because, well, she starts spraying whipped cream all over her body.
The next thing we know, though, she's in a pink bathing suit in, like, a creek, so I guess she wanted to get that dessert topping off immediately.
Finally, the moment you were all waiting for: Drake's appearance. Nicki is in cutout leggings, sneakers, and a baseball cap, but TBH, I don't think anyone is paying attention to her outfit. I know Drake isn't.
You better familiarize yourself with the video before Sunday, because Nicki will perform "Anaconda" at the 2014 Video Music Awards and we cannot wait to see what she wears—a thong, chain mail, Alexander McQueen, or something else?! We'll find out on Sunday, starting at 9 p.m. EST!