It’s probably fair to say that Taylor Swift’s fan base skews more female than male, but not many guys would turn down a chance to hang out at her place. And that’s exactly the choice BroBible writer Brandon Cohen made when his self-amusing contest entry turned out to be a winning ticket for Swift’s New York City house party.
Cohen (who isn’t the dude in the above photo from the same event) saw a tweet from Swift “calling all NYC fans” to enter for a chance to attend a Yahoo livestream:
— Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) August 11, 2014
In order to enter, Cohen had to explain why he deserved the honor:
“I said something along the lines of, ‘Even though I’m a 28-year-old dude, I love Taylor and don’t care who knows it!’ But the thing is, I do care who knows it, so it was a LIE. HAHA!”
A few days later, Cohen was shocked to receive a call from a TaylorSwift.com representative, alerting him that he’d been selected, presumably from among thousands of genuine entries:
“‘[A]ren’t you excited?’
“‘Yes! So excited!’ I responded, trying my best to imitate how a normal person who was excited would sound.”
The rep warned Cohen not to share the details with ANYONE (“The problem there,” Cohen writes, “was that I couldn’t think of a single one of my friends who would give a s–t”). He showed up to the studio at 1 p.m., and quickly realized that he had very little in common with the other winners, all of whom were diehard fans:
“[T]he dude next to me talk[ed] about how he wants to tell her how her music helped him when he came out of the closet. How the hell am I supposed to top that? When everyone then turned to me, I said, ‘I’m probably just gonna ask if she enjoys making out, and if she does, would she like to do it with me.'”
“I, once again, self-consciously two-stepped in place and tried to look like I wasn’t as big of an out-of-place creep as I actually was.”
The livestream wrapped up, and Cohen assumed the night was over — until a bus took him to Swift’s penthouse apartment for a surprise pizza feast. He got to talk with Swift and found her “surprisingly funny and self-deprecating. I was super impressed.”
(“I took a piss in her bathroom,” Cohen recounts even more poetically in his article.)
We asked him to further explain his Swift fandom:
“Well, to be clear, I always liked her. … I always found her to be pretty charming, and obviously found her super hot. I was generally just impressed by how cool and down to earth she was. When the cameras weren’t on, she would make little jokes about how what she said made no sense, or acknowledge when a story she told went nowhere. When I met her at her apartment she told some story about bringing her guitar to an airport and realized as soon as she said it, That was a really boring story.
“I feel like most celebrities of that stature just lose all touch with reality, but she seemed as normal a girl as there is. She also has art from her fans all over her apartment which I found pretty touching. And when I overheard her addressing fans in the receiving line at her apartment, she knew a lot about some of the fans without them having to tell her. Like she would say something like, ‘Oh I loved that painting you did of me’ or ‘you always tweet such nice things about me from that fan site’ or random s–t like that that made me really impressed. She’s like a female Bill Clinton of pop.”
For the record, Cohen loves Swift’s new song, and he’s even begging her to DM him on Twitter for another hangout. Will it happen? Hey, we’re glad he enjoyed the pizza party, but we’re guessing they’re never, ever getting back together.