There are two types of people in this world: those who buy into whacked-out conspiracies like the Illuminati and all of the other rational, level-headed people who don’t.
For the unacquainted, the Illuminati is a supposed secret society that controls every aspect of government and media. Tons of famous people and politicians presumably belong, and they pull all the strings. It’s their world, and we’re just unknowingly programmed and manipulated to live in it. Also, can we all agree this is so NOT happening IRL?
However, there are still the holdouts who hold out hope that the Illuminati are secretly pulling the strings behind the VMAs. We’ve already given you one side of the argument. Read that if you must, but the following 16 reasons why the Illuminati does NOT run the show is really all you need to know, IMHO.
1. The VMAs are fan-voted.
2. The president is always a no-show.
3. There’s a severe lack of triangles.
4. The VMAs have never been in Denver.
5. The VMAs have also never been underground.
6. There’s technology for dayz.
7. Li’l Kim would’ve worn a symbolic Illuminati pastie in 1999.
8. The press on red carpet would be steeped in the occult.
9. The VMAs is one of the most-tweeted about events of the year.
10. The Best Artist Website category never would’ve happened.
11. The Illuminati hate fashion risks.
13. “Poker Face” was snubbed.
14. Beyonce hasn’t won every VMA she’s been nominated for.
15. Where are all the owls?
16. Finally, there’s nothing secret about the VMAs.
So there you have it, folks: the VMAs are NOT Illuminati-controlled. Sorry. There’s always next year!