Mariah Carey Announces The Aptly Titled Elusive Chanteuse Show

This tour's so elusive, it won't even stop in the Western Hemisphere.

On Sunday, Mariah Carey announced that she’d be hitting the road in support of Me. I Am Mariah… The Elusive Chanteuse. (Oh my god, I am still not over that truly iconic album title.)

According to a press release on the “You Don’t Know What To Do” singer’s website, The Elusive Chanteuse Show will kick off in Tokyo (“a favorite stop for Carey”), on Oct. 4 followed by stops in China, Malaysia, Singapore, and the Philippines.

This tour, her first since 2009′s Angels Advocate Tour — not to mention her first time touring in Asia since 2006′s The Adventures Of Mimi — looks like it will be incredible and all, but does it have to be so elusive? Like, I’m always here for truth in advertising, but I’ll take an American tour date from Mariah over that any day.

As for the set list, the announcement promises: “an exciting mix of her biggest hits, fan-favorite album cuts, never-before-performed selections from her [14th studio album] and many more surprises!” What kind of surprises? “I can’t stop writing songs,” Mimi herself is quoted as saying, “so don’t be surprised if you hear a brand new song that I just wrote the night before the show in your city!”

Brand-new Mariah Carey tracks?

And there’s no chance I’ll be able to witness it live in the U.S.?

Well, at least the Lambs in Japan, China, Singapore, Malaysia, and the Philippines will have that chance.

I’m happy for you all. Really, I am.

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.