Most people break up because staying together would just lead to tears, heartache and a lingering resentment that, if it had an odor, would reek of sulfur, rotten eggs and expired dreams.
So, why, oh! why, do we yearn for those dudes and chicks who are pure poison to our souls? Those who, with a single taste, would send us reeling into a death-like state of emotional stagnation?
Taylor Swift has the right idea. She loves, loses, and then writes a kick-ass song that catharsis-es the heck out of that expired relationship.
That’s why the next time you’re itching to dial your ex, you should holster your texting finger and take a look at these inspirational Taylor lyrics — which are all about seeing your ex as s/he really is: past their due date.
1.) ’I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me/ So go and tell your friends that I’m obsessive and crazy,’ ’Picture To Burn’
Don’t let yourself get gaslit, girl — he’s not worth it.
2.) ’I’ve never been anywhere cold as you/ You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray,’ ’Cold As You’
No one wants to date a bummer.
3.) ’And you can tell me that you’re sorry/ But I don’t believe you baby/ Like I did before,’ ’You’re Not Sorry’
You know what they say about fooling me once and twice and shame.
4.) ’He can’t see the smile I’m faking/ And my heart’s not breaking/ Cause I’m not feeling anything at all,’ ’The Way I Loved You’
Seriously, you’re just not that into him. Don’t go crawling back when it’s Sunday afternoon and your cats just aren’t cutting it in the cuddle department.
5.) ’You could write a book on how/ To ruin someone’s perfect day,’ ’Tell Me Why’
Are you kidding me? He’s the worst. Who wants to be with the worst? No one. That’s who.
6.) ’And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand/ And I’ll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can,’ ’Dear John’
Whiners aren’t winners.
7.) ’Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city/ And all you’re ever gonna be is mean,’ ’Mean’
8.) ”Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in/ So shame on me now,’ ’Trouble’
Don’t beat yourself up! But get off the cold, hard ground and move on.
9.) ’We are never ever ever getting back together,’ ’We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’
New mantra. Sold.