Toddler Breaks Into White House, Given ‘Timeout’ By Secret Service

Initiate baby ghost protocol!

Someone call Channing Tatum: there’s been a security breach at the White House. Except in this case, it’s more like “White House [Fell] Down [Because The White House Hasn’t Been Walking Very Long And Hasn’t Totally Mastered Balance Yet].” Sounds like a hit to us.

The White House briefly went into lockdown mode Thursday (August 7) night after it was reported that someone had crossed the fence on the building’s property line, USA Today reported. As it turns out, it was just an itty bitty wee lil baby toddlerhead. (Translation: It was a young child.) The tiny human squeezed its tiny body through the bars of the fence and broke free on a brief sprint of adventure. Baby was quickly apprehended by Secret Service.

Edwin Donovan, spokesman for the Secret Service, issued a very serious statement about the very serious gap in security: “We were going to wait until he learned to talk to question him, but in lieu of that he got a timeout and was sent on [his] way with his parents.”

Just imagine: This kid is going to be so awesome at Two Truths And A Lie when he’s in high school. Snaps to you, pal. How did it feel? We hope it felt good.