This Girl Runs Penis-Shaped Courses On Her Nike+ App

Don't act like you're not impressed. (NSFW)

Most runners using the Nike+ app to track their routes do so with the begrudging, regimented intent of one staying motivated through fear of social media shaming.

Unless you’re San Francisco-based copywriter Claire Wyckoff, in which case you dream bigger. You let your imagination spring to life. You infuse your daily grind with some bumps, so to speak. What we’re trying to say is: if you’re as right brain-engorged as Claire Wyckoff, you use Nike+ to draw boners.

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To Wyckoff’s credit, she’s infused her runs with some other hilarious imagery.

Like a stripper on a pole.

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Slimer from Ghostbusters.

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The head of a Mennonite.

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And a corgi.

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Claire takes requests over at her Instagram account, so harness your weirdest, dirtiest, most absurd ideas and float them her way.

For our part, we’d like to suggest: Chris Pratt’s abs, Justin Bieber’s cereal bowl, Kanye West’s ‘Cruel Summer’ sandals, Rocket and Groot, angry swan, or Miley’s latest tattoo.