Here’s Why Chris Pratt Is The Kind Of Guy You Should Be Dating

Let the right one in.

If you’re anything like a living, breathing organism that takes oxygen in and out of its lungs, you’ve probably dated a few jerks in your time. You’ve probably also lamented the decision to hang with miscreants in retrospect, wondering, “How, oh how, do I curb my insatiable appetite for bad boys?”

Well, we have the answer for you: Start dating guys like Chris Pratt. Emphasis on the “like,” as he is married to Anna Faris and you dating the actual him would turn him into one of those aforementioned miscreants.

But, we digress. Here’s why Chris Pratt is probably the guy you should be dating.

1.) He was probably everyone’s adorable platonic best friend in high school.

Judging by this high school yearbook snap, Pratt was that kid who used to sit at your lunch table adorably sharing his Doritos with you while excitedly rehashing last night’s episode of “Buffy The Vampire Slayer.”

You know, the guy you should have dated in lieu of staring at that pot-smoking skater kid who thought your name was “Sally.” (“It’s Sarah,” you’d weakly whisper to his retreating band t-shirt-clad back.)

Everyone knows Andie Walsh should have chosen Duckie — stop chasing those Blanes, already.

2.) He can dance.

When you become old and get married, you’ll apparently start wanting to go dancing with your husband and he will decline (at least according to some clichés I’ve seen bopping around). Chris Pratt will never decline. His feet will not let him. Therefore, you will not end up having an affair with your salsa instructor (becoming yet another cliché).

3.) He can rap.

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