Sometimes a guy wants to rediscover the fun of bath time, so he slips out of his shamrock-patterned boxers and into a hot tub or pool or lake flip-floppin’ in the wind. But when that guy requires 24/7 security because he’s the Vice President of the United States of America, well, apparently it can get awkward.
According to a new book, “The First Family Detail,” Veep Joe Biden — eager to converge reality with his hard-partying Onion parody — has an aquatic nudist streak: “Agents say that, whether at the vice president’s residence or at his home in Delaware, Biden has a habit of swimming in his pool nude,” writes author Ronald Kessler, as quoted by the New York Daily News. “Female Secret Service agents find that offensive.”
But they can’t take their eyes off him for a second, so allegedly must watch their boss let it all hang out while he floats to and fro. This “lack of consideration,” Kessler writes, means that “being assigned to his detail is considered the second worst assignment in the Secret Service.” The least popular detail, he claims, is Hillary Clinton’s. (No word on her skinny dipping habits.)
Still, Biden has the second toughest job in the world, so if he wants to relax with a rubber ducky and some bubbles and zero clothes, well, God bless America. Then again, Hillary’s rep accuses Kessler of making s–t up for attention, so we imagine Biden’s got a similar response: