Here’s The Justin Bieber/Orlando Bloom Fight, Explained By Stephen Colbert

Let the slow-clapping begin.

Is there an anchor more proficient at covering world news than Stephen Colbert himself? No, there is not. Only a man with his comedic timing could cover the Justin Bieber/Orlando Bloom club fight like his.

“Tonight, I am sad to report another international dispute that has erupted in senseless violence,” Colbert opens, maintaining a serious and concerned tone as footage of ABC World News’ report on the Ibiza beef rolls onscreen.

“Yes, early reports indicate that Justin Bieber had his first hit in years. The roots of this conflict are, of course, Byzantine and ancient.”

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