Watch The 'Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda' Trailer IMMEDIATELY, Internet!

The trailer is here and it's everything you never knew you wanted.

Forget "Citizen Kane," there's a new Hollywood gold standard for cinematic achievement and it is clearly Syfy's latest movie masterpiece, "Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda." And this trailer proves just that, Rosebud.

We know it's very Internet of us to be so hyperbolic but, I mean, this trailer really has everything: aggressive horror, genetically mutilated monster creatures, Conan O'Brien acting like a nautical douche, crazy deaths, unbelievable scenarios, and just the right amount of CGI to make it all really, truly come to life. Sorry, Orson Welles, our ol' pal: your days as The Greatest are officially numbered.

I mean, it's all just so breathtaking we are left without words. Instead, we will just let you bask in its glory, sans context, to have a truly unsullied experience.

That acting, those monsters, all the incredible plots and quips. Surely this was a film made not by a human, but an alien angel from heaven. We have to ask, though: where is the Piranhaconda in all of this? Surely he should not be left out of this battle of the ages, right?

"Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda" will premiere on August 2nd on Syfy.