The Transportation Security Administration is maybe overcautious sometimes, like when they confiscated Lena Dunham’s cat-shaped key chain. Still, they’re doing their best to keep us safe, and the TSA Instagram account documents all the horrifying items that people try — and luckily, fail — to bring on planes. Here are 19 of scariest things that fortunately didn’t make it to takeoff…
1. Guns, lots of them
Since the beginning of 2014, the TSA has found over 1,100 firearms in carry-on bags. Most of them were loaded, too. Eeeek!
2. Knuckle knives
We hope these were for a makeshift Wolverine costume. Please be for a makeshift Wolverine costume.
3. A grenade hidden inside a STUFFED PENGUIN
For cryin’ out loud. The grenade was inert, but still. What did the penguin do to deserve this defilement?!
4. Throwing knives
Unless you’re from the “Divergent” Dauntless faction, throwing knives + moving transportation = not OK.
5. A samurai sword
You know, in case you suddenly get the urge to play ninja 40,000 feet in the air.
6. Just your average hatchet
No big deal or anything.
7. A horrifying knife/gun hybrid
Can’t decide between a gun or a knife? No problem, you can have both!
8. Improvised Explosive Device training kit
Nope. Nope. All the nopes.
What could possibly go wrong?
10. A blade hidden inside a Scooby-Doo greeting card
We preferred it when grandmas just gave cash.
11. The phone that helps you multitask
Just be careful not to chop off your fingers while texting.
12. A perfectly normal meat cleaver
13. Authentic medieval mace
Ancient weapons are still considered, y’know, weapons.
14. Stun gun disguised as a pack of cigarettes
Not such brilliant camouflage considering the “no smoking” sign.
15. The worst watch in existence
Turns out this was actually a novelty item. (The “novelty” is a lifetime in Guantanamo.)
16. A serpent cane sword thing
This obviously belongs to Lucius Malfoy.
Sorry, Mr. Wayne, but you’ll need to use your own plane for these.
Also known as “discs of death.”
19. A “Game of Thrones”-style dagger
OK for sailing to Westeros, not OK for flying in reality.
Are you traumatized yet? Before you consider never stepping foot on a plane again, meet some of the TSA canines that are catching some of this dangerous stuff…
Guiness from Tampa
Bonnie from San Francisco
Gunner from Anchorage
And Missy from Kentucky
She likes to be rewarded for her hard work with squeaky toys. Aren’t squeaky toys nice? Not like knuckle knives…?