Mermaid School Is The Best Education You Never Knew You Wanted

Look at this school, isn't it neat?

The worst thing about this legit mermaid training academy in the Philippines is that we are not there right now, frolicking in the ocean surf with our bottom half ensconced in a gorgeous colorful fish tail. Mermaid school is real, and it is spectacular.

The Philippine Mermaid Swimming Academy is a quality education institution for those who have heeded the siren song of Sebastian the Crab, and finally realized that life is, truly, better down where it’s wetter. For about $35, participants will receive qualified instruction in “mermaiding,” a.k.a. the best noun ever to be verbed, learning how to manipulate their tails and move through the water like a sea creature, via sinuous full-body undulation.

In addition to making a glorious reality of your every childhood mermaid-related fantasy, it is also a hell of an ab workout.

Aspiring mermaids can train anywhere from rivers and lakes to hotel swimming pools, but the ultimate mermaid education is clearly the one that takes place on Boracay Island’s beautiful White Beach, where students can learn to mermaid in natural salt water and enjoy lots of glamorous photo ops before they swim off into the sunset with their sisters to live forever as princesses in Poseidon’s kingdom.