TV

George R. R. Martin Politely Declines To Kill A 13 Year-Old Boy

The author paused his literary killing spree to bond with a young, wolf-loving fan.

One young “Game of Thrones” fan has found out that couple hundred dollars can’t buy you a grisly death at the hands of George R. R. Martin — but it might just move the author to politely, personally dash your hopes and give you a nice consolation prize.

Last month, Martin offered up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for mega-fans of his “A Song of Ice and Fire” series, as part of his campaign to raise money for two Santa Fe charities. In exchange for a $20,000 donation, the author would name a character in his books after you, and then — as George R. R. Martin is wont to do — kill that character off in a blood-spattering, head-smushing, eyeball-gouging blaze of glory.

It was a wildly exciting chance for fans, and it didn’t take long for a couple of aspiring Westerosians to snatch it right off the table. But that didn’t stop one young fan from penning an earnest letter to Martin, asking if the author might find it in his heart to kill him, too.

In the letter, which was obtained by Mashable, a 13 year-old aspiring wolf conservationist named Jack offered a donation of his pocket money (£153, which is about $260) to the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary, along with a heartfelt plea that Martin consider offing him in his books.

Jack’s passion for saving wolves inspired a personal response from Martin, who apologized for being unable to fulfill his request, writing, “There’s a limit to how many people even I can kill.” He did, however, make a $10,000 donation in Jack’s name to the boy’s hometown wolf conservation organization, the UK Wolf Conservation Trust. Which is incredibly sweet, of course — as long as George doesn’t let this life-affirming, wolf-saving moment of sentimentality distract him from his appointed role as sadistic executioner of every living thing the Seven Kingdoms holds dear.