‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Trailer Reveals 15 Steamy Secrets

Double crap, so THAT's what a Red Room of Pain looks like.

Mr. Grey will see you now… or, more accurately; we’ve finally been given the chance to see him!

The “Fifty Shades of Grey” trailer was finally revealed after a long, giant tease of a wait on Thursday (July 24) — and, as expected, it contained enough crucial tidbits from the book to please even the most hard-hearted of readers.

There are soooo many moments from this epic, two-minute-plus steam-fest that warrant discussion, but here are the top 15 moments — including one that kind of makes us want to curl up into a ball and cry — that would definitely make Anastasia Steele think, “double crap!”

1. Christian’s Office Has A Minimalist Theme

Okay, okay, so this one isn’t so sexy. But the first look at Christian (Jamie Dornan) through Anastasia’s (Dakota Johnson) eyes is powerful, and gives us a sneak peek at the man at work.

2. This Is What It Feels Like To Have Christian Look At You

The trailer purposefully doesn’t reveal Christian’s face until around 0:51, when he looks straight into Ana’s eyes and says, “I am.” (Looking at you, that is.) It’s another powerful moment that fans of Christian’s dominant energy (and steel-blue eyes) were undoubtedly looking forward to.

3. The First Kiss Is In An Elevator

Yep, looks like they’re sticking with canon when it comes to Ana and Christian’s first kiss, which happens right after the greatest interview of all time.

4. Christian Has Some Pretty Sweet Rides…

We got our first glimpse at Christian’s preferred mode of transportation in the trailer, his helicopter, and it’s pretty understandable why Ana is smitten — it’s a pretty sick ride, bro.

Oh, and speaking of air travel, looks like the ill-fated trip to meet Carla Wilks (Jennifer Ehle) in Georgia is happening, based on what looks to be that scene from the book where Ana and Christian go gliding.

5. Christian Plus Jose Equals PUNCH

Christian’s relationship with Jose (Victor Rasuk) should be no less contentious in the movie — the scene where Christian fights Jose for control of Ana is teased in the trailer. Yikes!

6. Christian Is Not A Cuddler

The first night Ana spends at Christian’s glorious apartment will be no more cuddly than it is in the books — it looks like she’ll still wake up at 5AM, lonely in his big, comfy bed.

7. Ana Will Wake Up Alone A Lot, Actually

It’s kind of hard to tell whether this bed is Christian’s or the one from the Heathman Hotel, but based on the sheet she has draped over her in the above image, I’m going to guess it’s Christian’s. Also, this bedroom looks more lived-in with its cosmetics than…

8. Christian Still Has That Shopping For Ana Fetish!

This bedroom has a more masculine decor, which suggests that it might be Christian’s, but the chairs are pretty hotel-ish and we wouldn’t be surprised if this was actually the scene where Ana woke up maybe a little hungover from that poorly advised night at the bar. Also, you can see a shopping bag or two, which is our first peek at Mr. Grey’s obsession with dressing his girlfriends in the way he wants them to look.

9. Rita Ora Looks Good In Grey

Yay! Christian’s entire family, made up of Carrick Grey (Andrew Airlie), Elliot Grey (Luke Grimes), Mia Grey (Rita Ora), and some of what we can safely assume is Grace Grey (Marcia Gay Harden, what are you doing here?) is seen in this shot, as is the infamous Katherine Kavanaugh (Eloise Mumford), who should be dating Elliot at this point.

10. THAT Bathroom Scene Might Be Happening

Oh my God, they’re in a bathroom… does that mean.. does it… no, no it couldn’t, right? They can’t. They can’t do this. They CAN’T! (They might.)

11. This Is What Your Face Looks Like When You See A Red Room Of Pain

The trailer shows not only the Red Room of Pain, but also Ana’s reaction to it — which is decidedly hilarious.

Warning: Everything After This Point Is Pretty NSFW!

12. These Are Christian’s Toys

A fine selection!

13. This Is Christian’s Tying Contraption

So fancy!

14. This Is What You Do With A Riding Crop, Apparently

It’s not just for horses, folks.

15. This Is What Ana’s Happy Face Looks Like

Think this one speaks for itself.

Welp, that’s what we have for now, “Fifty” fans. Let us know your thoughts on the trailer in the comments!